TeenHealthFX - Answers - Mom Won't Let Me Be A Vegan

Being A Vegetarian / Question
Published: May 14, 2008

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I want to become a vegan but my mom won't let me. She isn't taking it seriously at all. I am already a vegetarian so she already considers me a pain. Is it my right to become vegan or do I need her permission? What kind of foods could vegans get protein and calcium from because they don't eat meat, fish, milk or eggs?

Signed: Mom Won't Let Me Be A Vegan

Dear Mom Won't Let Me Be A Vegan,

TeenHealthFX thinks that you do have the right to become a vegan if that is in accordance with your values and beliefs. However, we don’t think that whether it is your right or not should become the main focus in this particular scenario. FX thinks that you should put your energy into the following two steps:

FX thinks that the first thing you need to do is to educate yourself about becoming a vegan. This includes considering what foods you will be eliminating from your diet in becoming a vegan and how to ensure that you are getting all of the vitamins and nutrients you need. Since your primary care physician is aware of your medical history, FX recommends that you start by talking to him/her about how to safely make these changes in your diet. You could also speak with your school nurse or school health teacher about this.

Second, you need to sit down with your mother and discuss several aspects of this change you would like to make. First, educate her about what it means to be a vegan – again, what foods you cannot eat and how you plan on ensuring that your nutritional needs are being met. This will show her that you are approaching this in a thoughtful and responsible manner in terms of ensuring your well-being. Second, FX suggests that the two of you have a conversation about why she considers your desire to be vegetarian or vegan a “pain.” Does she feel this will mean extra groceries she has to buy or extra meals she will have to prepare? Is she worried you might judge her or other family members if they do not eat a vegetarian or vegan diet? Is she having trouble identifying with the values and beliefs you hold that influence your decision about being vegan? Is there some underlying relationship issue between you and your mother that is contributing to the vegan thing being an issue? It would be helpful for you and your mother to determine what the true problem is so you can work together at coming up with a solution. For example, if she is feeling stressed about having to meal-plan and prepare extra meals for your special diet, consider doing your meal-planning yourself, writing down the ingredients you need on the grocery list, and helping her with the cooking. If it seems there is some underlying relationship issue at hand, considering meeting with a family therapist who can work with you and your mother on whatever relationship problem is an issue right now.

To learn more about how to ensure you get an adequate amount of protein, B-12 and calcium in a vegan diet, please go to the following website:

http://www.vegan.org/FAQs/index.html#2

And remember to discuss any diet changes, questions and concerns with your doctor.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-6475 for an appointment or contact your local teen health center. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network medical health providers.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers.

Signed: TeenHealthFX