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Lost And Needs Help With Bullying

Published: September 18, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
hi, i am having serious problems. Okay, so im a 14 yr old girl. my girlfriend broke up with me and she has called me a B***h, and much worse names and she continues to bully me. I have already been to our principal twice about other ppl who were bullying me. She has not stopped calling me names and saying F***k you, and she said i was dead to her. i have started cutting again, because I'm getting to where I can't handle it. I feel like im beginning to become suicidal. She has blamed me for all of her problems, and i dont know what else to do. PLEASE HELP ME. Do i Talk to the principal, even know, she doesnt really like me, or continue to take the bullying and drama and just try to stop feeling suicidal?? ---LOST AND DESPERATELY NEEDS HELP>
Signed: Lost And Needs Help With Bullying

Dear Lost And Needs Help With Bullying,

 

TeenHealthFX is very concerned about the bullying you are enduring right now from your ex-girlfriend and that you are at a point where you have started cutting again and are feeling suicidal. FX thinks that it is crucial that you do the following:

·         Let your parents know what you are going through right now – that you are being bullied and have subsequently resorted to cutting and have been experiencing suicidal thoughts. It is very important that your parents help you deal with this situation in terms of ensuring that the appropriate school staff members are aware of the situation, arranging mental health treatment for you to deal with the cutting and suicidal ideation, and generally being there for you with love and support.

·         Let your school principal and school counselor know what is going on in terms of the bullying at school. It is important that school staff intervene as needed on your behalf to ensure that your school environment is a safe one for you. Your school counselor, in particular, is a good resource for you in terms of getting some support and guidance in finding ways to effectively deal with your ex if she tries to bully or threaten you in any way from this point on.

·         Participate in individual and/or group therapy with a mental health professional. It is important that you receive the mental health treatment you need so that you no longer feel suicidal and so that you can develop healthier coping mechanisms so that you do not have to resort to self-cutting. A therapist can also work with you on various types of interpersonal issues, such as how to effectively deal with a bully.

·         Think about ways to increase your support system of adults and peers. School counselors, teachers, private therapists, your parents, extended family members, and the parents of friends are all potentially great resources of adults who can be there for you with support and guidance. In addition, FX thinks that it would be helpful for you to think of ways to increase your support system with peers – you might do this by joining school sports or clubs where you can meet new people or get to know some of your classmates better. FX suggests you speak with a therapist or a school counselor about some positive ways to increase your circle of emotionally healthy and emotionally supportive friends.

·         Read the answer to Tired of Bullying and My Parents Arguing to get some suggestions on what to do and what not to do when it comes to dealing with bullies, as well as links to other helpful websites that offer resources on dealing with bullies.

FX can appreciate how painful and frustrating it feels to be bullied, but do not give up or resort to suicide. Things can get better for you – but you need to start by reaching out to adults around you who can provide you with the guidance and support you need to effectively deal with this situation and the negative emotions you are currently experiencing.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

 

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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