Cursed With A High Libido

Published: July 06, 2012
Dear Cursed With A High Libido,

I am a 17 year old male who has suffered from excessive guilt throughout my teenage years, due to a consistently high libido. This issue frequently appears in my dream content, since last night, approximately seventy-five percent of my dreams contained sexual content. Once, I even dreamed that I was cross-dressing. This makes me feel highly stupid, as I feel like I should be able to effectively control my impulses. I once wrote a document titled '50 Reasons to Kill Myself', and a 'high-libido' was the eleventh reason on my list. I have probably masturbated over 900 times in my life-time, and attempted to quit this habit numerous times. However, I cannot stop feeling stupid every time I fail to accomplish this task. I detest this self-characteristic more than any other personality trait I have, and desperately wish it would disappear. The reason: I am a major perfectionist, and this "negative trait" doesn't appear to match the ideal image I have of myself. My largest fear is that I will continue to masturbate into adulthood. Please help me. Please don't simply respond that "masturbation" is a normal, healthy activity, because I can never seem to convince myself of this fact. I keep questioning "Why did I have to be cursed like this, and not someone else?"

Dear Cursed With A High Libido,

From a health perspective as long as you know, "masturbation" is a normal, healthy activity,” we will not focus on that aspect. There are many behaviors that are normal but if they start consuming a person life and are unwanted they can be problematic. Although you have tried several times you have not been able to get over the compulsion to masturbate which then leaves you with negative feelings about yourself. Being a perfectionist seems to make it much harder to deal with because like any compulsion or addiction you have not had any success controlling it. This is bound to leave you with a significant amount of anxiety which is most likely why your dreams are dominated by sexual themes. Typically dreams are a representation of unconscious conflicts that we are trying to work out.

Since your masturbation habit is causing you a considerable amount of anxiety and you have not been able to control it, then you really should seek help. There are therapists who specialize in sexual addictions or compulsive behaviors that can help you overcome this problem. It is a lot more common then you realize. As far as being “cursed” you will find in life that many bad things happen to people that can’t be justified. It is not fair but fortunately you can do something about this.

To look for mental health services in your state log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration and scroll over “Location” in the upper right hand corner and a drop down menu with resources for each state will appear.