Broken Up Over a Breakup

Published: February 15, 2019
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Dear TeenHealthFX, it's been months since my first breakup and I still can't sleep or concentrate. I thought after a while things would get better, but instead it seems as if things are getting worse. I have difficulty falling asleep at night, lately I've only been getting about 4 hours a night. I have had a hard time with school work ever since too and staying focused in class. I also have anxiety and stress from the whole situation, especially because I'm a straight A student who's been struggling to manage even passing C's on tests since the breakup. Do you have any advice that could help me? I'm someone who's been through tough stuff before and has always been able to handle it on my own or with friend support, but I'm struggling this time to get back to my usual happy, bright self.
Signed: Broken Up Over a Breakup

Dear Broken Up Over a Breakup,

Having your heart broken is one of the worst feelings. TeenHealthFx understands how upsetting this can be. Fx can assure you, even though your feelings are completely valid, they will not last forever. Love is unfortunately not a switch we can turn on and off. While it can be extremely painful, it’s important not to lose sight of who you are.

Holding in your emotions can negatively impact your health resulting in sleep loss, trouble concentrating or even anxiety.

Some ideas for coping:

  • Do you have a trusted adult you could speak to? Ask them for help. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking with someone who you have a close relationship with, you could always try a counselor or therapist. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions at this time.
  • Some people will benefit from a good cry. Be alone and allow yourself to be completely open with your feelings. 
  • Have you ever tried journaling? Writing down your feelings and emotions can also be a great resource. It is important to focus on you and your needs at this time.
  • Distracting yourself is a great way to get over a breakup. Keeping yourself occupied and focusing on what interests you and what you love to do is key

Most importantly, allow yourself the time to work on your feelings and allow yourself to heal. This process takes time. Fx can assure you will be back to your happy and bright self.

 If your feelings are not going away or they are worsening there is always help available. If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.

Check out more resources:

TeenHealthFX- Significant Others

Signed: TeenHealthFX