Not Hanging

Published: February 25, 2019
Dear TeenHealthFX,

i feel like i have a lot of friends AT SCHOOL. and AT DANCE. but i would never hang out with them out of school. I feel like i do not have fun when i HANG OUT out of school with people and I feel like There is something wrong with me. I like hanging with people when I am forced to like for dance competitions, but I feel like I don€t have those people I can just text and hang out with. IS it bad? I just don’t care enough to hang ut with anyone but when i DO I HAVE FUN.

Signed: Not Hanging

Dear Not Hanging,

TeenHealthFx would like to begin by saying there is nothing “wrong” with you. Fx understands it can be hard to start new friendships. People often feel shy or insecure about having a conversation with a stranger. This feeling is totally normal. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there.    

You mentioned that when you spend time with your friends from dance, you have fun. Fx wonders, do you feel that you have more in common with your dance friends? Sharing a common interest is often the basis of most friendships.

The hardest part of making new friends is often in the beginning stages. At times, it can be awkward and uncomfortable. Fx has a few recommendations to make the process easier for you.

Try challenging yourself by starting up a conversation with a new person at school. Introduce yourself and then ask them a question. This can be a great way to “break the ice.” Conversation could be as simple as saying “hey I like your sneakers, where’d you get them?”  It is generally pretty easy for people to talk about themselves, by taking an interest in them you may find common interests you both share. Be patience with yourself, often this process can take some time. Eventually you will get to the point of feeling comfortable, from there you could ask if they would like to hang out.  

Remember, it's never too late to build new friendships. Investing time in making friends and strengthening your friendships can pay off for years to come.

Making good friends

Signed: TeenHealthFX