My Friend is Being Bullied

Published: May 29, 2018
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My friend is being bullied by some of her friends (aka the school's queen bee). They have been at it for almost a year now. It's really heartbreaking for me and it's getting worse. It used to be a lot of verbal bulling (ex:rumors and telling people not to sit with her), but now it's become more physical (ex:stealing things from her locker and throwing around her backpack). I went through the same thing before, presicly why I don't hang out with them anymore but I can catch them in the act because we are seperate. Her mom is doing everything she can including forcfully telling the bullies parents and the teachers to make it stop, but the bullies are so sneaky about it that no one is aware that this is happening to her. She's detierating. I offers her help but now she doesn't trust me because she thinks I'm pitying her. I keep trying to invite her to my house and to hang out with my friends but she refuses. To make matters worse, she's on the verge of not telling her parents anything because she's afraid they'll keep complaining to the bully's parents (last time she did it the bully bullied her even more than ever for telling). It's so bad she's thinking of moving not just schools, but states. Im scared shes going to start hurting herself mentally. Help I cant loose her but she doesn't trust me or anyone to help.
Signed: My Friend is Being Bullied

Dear My Friend is Being Bullied,

TeenHealthFX thinks that it would be very helpful for your friend and her parents to be meeting with a reputable mental health professional who has experience working with children and teens who are being bullied. It is important that your friend has a safe, private space to talk about what she has been dealing with. It is also important for her parents to get some support and guidance in terms of how to effectively deal with this bullying situation since it sounds like the methods they have tried so far are not effective. FX suggests you encourage your friend to meet with a therapist. You could also speak to a counselor at school or your parents about this, so other adults can get involved to ensure your friend and her parents are getting the help they need.

FX also wants to encourage you to speak to someone about this situation, so you are not dealing with the situation and your feelings about all alone. You could speak to your parents, a school counselor or a private therapist about it so that you are getting the support and guidance you need to manage all of this and to be there for your friend in the best way you can.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

Here are some resources on bullying that might be helpful for you, your friend and her parents:

Signed: TeenHealthFX