Is What My Mom Doing Abuse?

Published: April 06, 2018
Dear TeenHealthFX,
am i being abused ? my mom constantly tells me to do certain things and i do,but when she keeps shouting things to do it gets frustrating and i start giving her "attitude". when i giver her attitude she pushes me against the walls and slaps my head and punches me and this goes on quite a bit, one time she started hitting me and i got a bruise on my arm and my back from her throwing me against the wall, after she yelled at me more, she told me to stop crying because " if im going to act tuff then i better be able to handle the she she gives me" i told one person about this and they say that im being emotionally and physically abused at home by my mom
Signed: Is What My Mom Doing Abuse?

Dear Is What My Mom Doing Abuse?,

It is definitely concerning that your mom is slapping you, punching you and throwing you against the wall. It is a real concern that she has been physical with you to the point of leaving bruises. TeenHealthFX is very concerned about what is going on with both of you. We are worried about the impact her angry responses and physical aggression is having on you, as well as concerned about what is going on with your mother that she is responding to you in this way. FX thinks that this is a situation where both you and your mother need help, so we do think it is important for you to reach out to a trusted adult who can intervene in the situation and get help for both of you. 

As for your question about abuse, according to

Child abuse is when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. There are many forms of child maltreatment, including neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation and emotional abuse.

Child abuse can be in the form of physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and child neglect. To learn more about what constitutes these different forms of abuse, as well as the correlating signs of abuse, click here.


Again, given the situation you are in, TeenHealthFX thinks that it is very important for you to talk to a trusted adult about what is going on in your home with your mother so that someone can intervene on your behalf. It may be necessary for a professional working with child protective services in your state to meet with you and with your mom to get a better idea of what is happening in the home to determine what steps need to be taken to keep you safe.

You could speak to a school counselor or your primary care physician who could speak to your mom on your behalf and/or call child protective services depending on the severity of the issue. Another options is to call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453), a 24-hour hotline with resources to aid in every child abuse situation. All calls are confidential. You can also click here for a list of local child protective service numbers that you can use depending on what state you are living in.

In New Jersey, any person having reasonable cause to believe that a child has been subjected to abuse or acts of abuse should immediately report this information to the State Central Registry (SCR). If the child is in immediate danger, call 911 as well as 1-877 NJ ABUSE (1-877-652-2873). A concerned caller does not need proof to report an allegation of child abuse and can make the report anonymously.

Signed: TeenHealthFX