How Do I Deal with My Mom Being Angry?

Published: April 05, 2021
Dear TeenHealthFX,
hey tfx, my mom sounds angry very quickly. like, she raises her voice and frowns. but when I ask her why she's angry, she says, 'im not angry, I'm just raising my voice'. but even tho I know she's not angry, when she talks to me like that, I feel sad and angry. I tried to talk to her about it but she made it clear that she won't try to sound less angry. how do I deal with this?
Signed: How Do I Deal with My Mom Being Angry?

Dear How Do I Deal with My Mom Being Angry?,

TeenHealthFX understands how difficult this can be. It may be possible that your mom does not even realize she is doing it. When it comes to talking to parents, it is important to try to remember to approach them at a time when they are not busy and can hear what you are saying.

If you try talking to your mom when she is already stressed out, her tone may be projected onto you even though you didn’t do anything. We understand that is not fair to you, however, at times, it is important to remember that your parents are human and will make mistakes.  When your mom does raise her voice, try to take a deep breath and keep in mind that it is not your fault. Try not to take it personal.

  • Tips to help you deal with this could be:
  • Try to talk to your mom on a regular basis. By making more time to have conversations with her it will help you get to understand each other better.
  • Try to put yourself in each other’s shoes and ask questions.
  • If you have a difficult topic to bring up like her sounding angry, ask when a good time is to talk and wait until she can give you her attention.
  • Think about how you want to approach the topic and come from a place of understanding and tell her how you feel. You can always try an “I” sentence. For example, I feel bad when you (and fill in the blank).

It may take time for your mom to come around and understand where you are coming from. Don’t give up. If you find that talking to your mom really isn’t working. Try reaching out to another trusted adult, teacher, or school counselor who can help. Good luck!

Signed: TeenHealthFX