Still Trying to Figure Out Things

Published: September 14, 2022
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm still trying to figure a lot of things out about dating and stuff but basically it's dawned on me that I'm not really a happy gal. Emotionally I'm angry and very insecure. Physically I have pretty low self esteem and mentally I'm pretty slow. I try to always be open to learning but I'm okay with not being super beautiful or smart or happy I guess. I think I'm pretty realistic in my attitude overall as an American female living in this terrible world today. But what really kills me is when a boy I like calls me out as the saddest person they know or like...every person has made comments that I'm so sad all the time to cheer up etc. I wish they wouldn't judge. I don't mean to do it on purpose. I feel like I can't snap out of it either tho. I guess I'm just a sad person. But I guess now people are worried I'll bring them down too so they'd rather not spend time with me. I feel very lonely but honestly I feel like it is what it is like I will never "get better" that I will always be sad. Is that really such a bad thing? I'm not afraid of death. Frankly I have more feelings of dread about being alive. Is that really so bad? I'm confused
Signed: Still Trying to Figure Out Things

Dear Still Trying to Figure Out Things,

TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear about what you are going through. Emotions can be confusing and hard to handle especially when you are dealing with many at the same time. Identifying your emotions and feelings is always a good first step getting the support you need. Since you mention feeling angry, insecure, and having low self-esteem, you are already in the right direction in finding the support necessary to start feeling like your best self.

Remember that we are all different, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Though I know it can be difficult not to compare yourself to others, we should always keep in mind that we are our own person and there is no one mold that is the right fit for us all. Life isn’t a ‘copy and paste’ scenario and that is okay! A person does not need to feel happy all the time, but also does not need to feel sad all the time either. It’s important to find a balance.

We strongly suggest reaching out to a parent or trusted adult, teacher, or school counselor to let them know about how you have been feeling. They will be able to guide you in the right direction and get you where you need to be to feel better.

If you are having trouble finding an adult you can speak with that you trust and feel comfortable with and live in the northern New Jersey area you can contact (973) 540-0100, or Atlantic Behavioral Health at 1-888-247-1400.

If you feel you are a danger to yourself or others, or in crisis call 9-8-8 and/or text 7-4-1-7-4-1. You can also visit for a virtual chat option. 

Signed: TeenHealthFX