How Do I Come Out to My Best Friend?

Published: December 13, 2023
Dear TeenHealth FX,
how do i come out to my best friend? i?ve tried to give subtle hints but she doesn?t understand. i guess i?ve always been more masculine, and she knows that i am ?gay? (i?m panromantic) but for some reason i just can?t tell her i?m trans. whenever my friends use he/they prns she always corrects them not knowing and says ?actually (my deadname) is a girl? and it?s not that i don?t trust her i jist can?t get myself to do it

Dear ,

TeenHealth FX knows that this must be a difficult experience, but TeenHealth FX is happy you are being your true self! There are lots of other teens going through the same thing as you! Your friend may not want to assume your sexuality, so we suggest having a conversation with them. 

Some tips:

1. When YOU are ready, find a time that will allow you to have a private conversation with minimal distractions. 

       a. There is no rush to having that conversation, go on your time. 

2. Be prepared to answer some questions. Your friend may be asking questions to better understand you and your preferred pronouns.

3. Do not be too serious. Remember, you are having this conversation because you trust your friend!

4. Maybe write down what you want to say and then read it aloud (whatever makes you feel more comfortable). 

5. Reassure your friend. They may have questions to understand you better!

      a.  Do not forget it is just as important for you to feel appreciated and reassured during this conversation. 

For more guidance on how to approach this conversation, see the links below:

TeenHealth FX – Sexuality: All The Questions

Kids Health – Coming Out

Signed: TeenHealth FX