Huge Crush on Best Friend

Published: October 07, 2015
Dear TeenHealthFX,

Please help! I am 14 years old(male) and have a huge crush on my best friend who is female. We have the same personality and interests and I find very attractive. Next week is homecoming and I'm not sure if I should ask her out. We have been close since 6th grade and we do a lot of things together outside of school. I am deeply in love with her and have the guts to tell her, but I'm afraid it could ruin the great friendship we already have. I know that If I don't ask her I may never know. I know you don't reply to all requests but I really need help. Thanks


Dear Huge Crush on Best Friend,

TeenHealthFX realizes that this is a very serious dilemma for you. It can be very uncomfortable to make yourself vulnerable and risk rejection. In your situation it might be better to take the sense of urgency out of the situation. You are basically dealing with two issues; whether she will go with you to homecoming and does she have the same type of feelings for you that you have for her. As far as homecoming, approach it in a casual manner. See if she is going and if she wanted to go with you or “hang out” while at the dance. By avoiding the notion that this is a make or break situation, it will put much less stress on you and make the situation less awkward.

 

The best way to tell your friend how you feel, is over time. Remember, she is trying to figure out many of the same things you are. If she feels overwhelmed, she is more likely to back away from the situation. The most important issue is communication and honesty, the rest you have no control over. If you stand back and can get some perspective, you’ll realize that either way you’ll wind up with a good friend. The key is, that if it is not meant to be more than a friendship, that you don’t rationalize that it must be something defective about you or channel your disappointment into anger towards her. No matter how hard we try, it is very hard to get other people to see the possibilities as we see them. Many poems and songs over the years have made the point that love is not always rational.

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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