Should I Let It Go?

Published: May 11, 2020
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am female i have a male friend we have been close friends since we were kids. We are both a little older now and i love him. Ive known for a long time and i want to be with him. He has a girlfriend. He was saying that she would be ok with him seeing other people. I dont think its true and im not sure im ok with that anyway. I mean its their business obviously but im having weird feelings. Im not even sure if he was talking about me but i dont want to be another person i want to be his girlfriend, his only girlfriend. But i feel upset that he would do that. Should i tell him any of this? Is it too late? I dont want to be judgmental but im not sure me getting into anything like a triangle is going to help anything. Should i just let it go?
Signed: Should I Let It Go?

Dear Should I Let It Go?,


TeenHealthFX understands that this is a difficult decision. Telling a close friend that you have feelings for them is very scary especially when they have a girlfriend. It’s also complicated because you mention that he thinks his girlfriend would be OK if he sees other people and you don’t agree with him.


You really need to think about how you feel and what you want.  Are you OK with just continuing your friendship?   Do you want to tell him that you’ve had strong feeling for you for a long time and would like to be in a mutually exclusive relationship with him?  Do you want to tell him that you don’t agree with him that his girlfriend is fine with him seeing other people? 


Then even though it will be awkward, have an open and honest conversation with him.  You won’t know the outcome until you ask.  If anything makes you feel uncomfortable or something comes up that you are not ok with, then it might be a good idea give your friendship a break.  Focus on your other friends, family, goals, and interests.  


Signed: TeenHealthFX