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My Friend Gets In The Way Of My Hanging Out With Other People

Published: December 05, 2012
Dear My Friend Gets In The Way Of My Hanging Out With Other People,

I have this problem with a friend who feels like he leeches on to me. What I mean is that whenever I start to talk to a girl at school, he will interrupt me and pull me to the side, or if I am trying to walk over to the one girl I like, I always seem to hear his voice yelling my name through the halls, it gets louder if I try to ignore him. I trying not to whine, but it really gets on my nerves. I first thought it was uncanny, now it seems like he is out to ruin my love life. As a result our friendship is being strained on my part because it seems I am smothered by him. What should I do? I dontmwant to be really mean, but i am getting to that stage. Thank you

Dear My Friend Gets In The Way Of My Hanging Out With Other People,

TeenHealthFX can appreciate your frustration if you feel like your friend’s behavior is interfering with your being able to interact with people other than him. But if you keep your frustration to yourself, you are only going to get angrier and angrier to the point where you might start to get resentful of your friend. The more anger and resentment builds up, the harder it is to get past it and the less likely you will be able to work things out with him. So before this situation (and your anger) gets any worse, FX recommends that you find a time where you can speak to him about this situation.

The best bet of a productive conversation will mean that you should:

  • Speak to him when you are calm – don’t address it at a moment where you are angry with him because he just interrupted you yet again.
  • Try and be calm in how you speak to him about your concerns. If you need to be firm in what you need from him, that’s fine – but careful firm doesn’t turn into major anger.
  • Be curious about why he is doing what he is doing. Perhaps something is hard for him about your branching out with other people. If you have a better understanding of why he is doing what he is doing, it might help you guys to resolve the problem.
  • Say something like, “It seems like every time I am talking to a girl, you interrupt me or make it hard for me to keep talking. Is there something wrong that you’re doing this? Do you even notice that you’re doing this? Because I really need you to stop screaming my name out down the hall and getting in the middle of conversations when I’m talking to someone else because it’s really starting to frustrate me.”

Sometimes we want people to read our minds about what we want or just get the hint – but often that doesn’t work and a direct conversation is really what is needed. If talking to your friend doesn’t work, perhaps you can speak to a parent, school counselor, or teacher about how to best handle the situation so you are not left in a situation where you are constantly feeling frustrated.