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Am I Ready for Sex?

Published: April 08, 2019
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hi, I am a 14 year old girl and a freshman in high school. I have been dating a boy who is a sophomore now for almost 9 months. I sometimes get these thoughts about having sex with him but I know that I am to young and not ready yet. I sometimes think that sex is gross, sex is neutral, or that I want to have sex so bad and have that amazing feeling with him. I don't tell him these thoughts that I have because I will feel uncomfortable about it, and that he has never had these thoughts before about me. He is very supportive with all my decisions, and he is always there for me. I have talked to him about sex before but it was a very neutral conversation. But, I feel like there is something wrong with me and that I don't know if it is normal that a freshman girl is having these thoughts about sex. Any advice? I need answers! Thank you so much!
Signed: Am I Ready for Sex?

Dear Am I Ready for Sex?,

TeenHealthFx would like to begin by saying your feelings and curiosity about sex are completely normal at your age. Deciding when to have sex for the first time is a big decision that only you can make. It may be helpful to talk about this with someone you trust, who cares about you.

The world we live in today glamorizes sex.  You might think that everyone your age is having sex, they’re probably not. In fact, many teens that have had sex wish they’d waited. Sex can be great, but there are emotional and physical risks like unintended pregnancy and STIs. Sex before you’re ready can be very stressful.

It’s important to think about your personal values. What are you comfortable doing? FX suggests you have an honest conversation with your boyfriend about the role of sex in your relationship. If you decide to become sexually active, it is important that you speak to your healthcare provider about birth control to protect against unintended pregnancies and the transmission of STI’s. 

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-5199 for an appointment with an adolescent medicine specialist or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood.

Planned Parenthood

 

Signed: TeenHealthFX

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