13 Y/O With Anger Issues

Published: September 29, 2015
Dear TeenHealthFX,

Hello. i have a younger brother of 13 years old. i think he has an issue?? he hits my mom when he doesn't get his way or when he is annoyed. yesterday, he hit her really hard with his hand and immediately, i punched him in the tummy because he was SO RUDE. but he hit me in my head and shoulder with full force.. does he have anger or mental issues? is it normal for a kid to hit his mom in his adolescent age? i am 20 years old btw. i cannot stand him being violent or rude to my mom.

Dear 13 Y/O With Anger Issues,

 The amount of aggression that your brother exhibits when he doesn’t get his way, is unacceptable. As much as his behavior is out of control and destructive, hitting him in return will escalate the situation. TeenHealthFX can only imagine the frustration you must feel watching him hit your mother, but your aggression will only serve to reinforce his.  


This situation definitely needs to be addressed. Your brother does not seem to be able to control his impulses when he is frustrated. There could be many underlying reasons for this behavior but since it manifests into violence, it can have a significant impact on others. You want to look at some other factors; does he display these behaviors at school, have friends or does he have a good reason to be angry. There is nothing wrong with a person being angry. How you express it determines whether it is harmful or not. 


You should have a talk with your mom. If she is aware is an issue, perhaps she can share with you what has been going on. If she hasn’t taken any action, then encourage her to seek help for your brother. That amount of aggression is a dangerous force to carry around and could change his life in a moment. Therapy will help modify your brother’s aggression and will also be help your mother learn productive ways to deal with his aggressive behavior.  


If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.






Signed: TeenHealthFX