People Make Fun of Me Because of My Relationship

Published: February 28, 2018
Dear TeenHealthFX,

I'm 12 and my gf is the same age. We have been together for about 5 months and our parents are very supportive of our relationship however it seems like everyone around me doesn'€™t. Everyone keeps judging us especially adults and friends keep making fun of me. I'm really sad and cry everyday. I don't want break up with her but it's really difficult to handle. I want to tell my parents to start homeschooling me. How Can I handle this pressure. My mom told me to ignore them but it's hard for me to.

Signed: People Make Fun of Me Because of My Relationship

Dear People Make Fun of Me Because of My Relationship,

If you are constantly feeling judged and made fun of, that is certainly something difficult to just ignore. However, FX would not resort to homeschooling as a solution because then you will be isolated from your peers and when we are isolated and apart from other people it can contribute to feelings of sadness and loneliness. FX thinks that it would be a lot healthier for you to find effective ways to deal with the behavior so you can feel better about being at school and so you can have more positive interactions with your peers.

The number one thing that FX recommends is scheduling an appointment with a reputable private therapist, such as a clinical social worker or clinical psychologist. It would be helpful to speak to someone who can get some detailed information from you on what specifically people judge and make fun of so you can come up with some strategies of how to handle it.

FX would also recommend speaking to your counselor at school so he/she is aware of the situation and can either intervene with the students being particularly mean about it or can implement some kind of assembly or program on addressing issues around kindness and bullying.

As for the parents who tease, that might be an area for your parents to take on – to speak to these adults and let them know that their comments are not being received well regardless of what their intentions may be.

FX also suggests considering your reactions to what your peers are saying. The more you get worked up and upset, the more it can be enticing for them to continue. If you act like it doesn’t phase you or make your own joke out of it, it often becomes less interesting for the other people to pursue.

FX wonders how much time you spend with friends compared to time with your family and your girlfriend? If you are not spending much time in activities where you are establishing and maintaining friendships with your peers, this could also make your situation more difficult as the other kids may see you more on the outside of things rather than part of the group.

Finally, FX thinks it would be a good idea to stick with some friends who you see do stick up for you. It can help us to feel a lot better when we feel like someone is on our corner to stand up for us and defend us. If you do not have any friends who you feel this way about, that might be a conversation to have with the therapist so the two of you can figure out together how to establish those types of relationships.

Again, since FX does not know the specifics of the situation, we do recommend that you speak with a therapist so you can get the support and guidance you need to deal with this situation in a way where you are feeling less distraught.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX